Funny Status Messages
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Give Yourself a Haircut Tip # 1: Don't 
Apparently, I can't say "Blak paint!" any more. I have to be PC and say, "Please paint that wall, Leroy."
happier than a redneck driving a racecar
I joke around a lot .... but when I'm serious I'm serious cuz seriousness is the serious way to deal with serious seriosities seriositating in the seriousosphere. Seriously.
My boss doesn't like it when I play slavery songs at work….
FACT: The richest man on the planet is a mexican!
Any kids dressed as Obama, who have worked real hard and have a bunch of candy, will be required to give it to me, cause I had rather have took a nap instead of collecting my own candy. Thank you!
just saw where the movie "Ground Hog Day" is coming on tonight.. Oh.. Wait a minute.. That's President Obama's job speech.. sorry
following the yellow brick road
n't it ironic the idea that homosexuality is unnatural is shared by believers in resurrection, omnipotence and talking burning shrubbery.
A record 93 million Americans are out of work, and more people lost insurance than got insurance in last 5 years.
At least Donald Sterling's schedule just freed up for all those KKK meetings he's been missing.
Police Station toilet stolen - Cops have nothing to go on.
I was going to dress as an evil witch for halloween but I didn't want to be mistaken as Hillary
The MSM claims national polls have Biden ahead by 14 points. By "national", they mean New York City, Chicago, Philadelphia, Los Angeles and cemeteries.
Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality......which would explain Edward.....
Your mumma's so fat when she goes to McDonalds they ask her what she doesn't want
Ok, so this girl on Facebook posted a status which read: "How can I get rid of this morning sickness?" Turns out replying, "Try a coat hanger" is a good way to get yourself deleted.
on this Veterans Day, president Obama is in Indonesia. Shouldn't he be at Arlington honoring the Vets??
happy that the Statute of Limitations has finally expired, and he can finally admit that he is, in fact, the one who let the dogs out. 