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Sometimes, karma is just too busy with other injustices in the world and that's where revenge comes in.
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02-27-2012 09:20
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There's no better reminder to visit your dentist than a trip to Walmart.
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12-27-2011 17:14 by
hihuggiehi
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So say some animals *were* injured in the making of a film. Is that listed in the credits or what? "Bob hurt one bird. He's very sorry."
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01-24-2012 10:50 by
SuthernFukr
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Everyone has that friend that needs to stop bumming and buy their own pack of cigarettes.
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04-18-2012 21:10 by
BEGO
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If everyone were telling the truth on fb, the economy would be booming, all kids would be geniuses, everyone would look like they're in their 20's, and all relationships would remain happily ever after.
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06-21-2012 07:54 by
MTQ
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Just sold a lawn mower on eBay. That will be the last time my neighbor wakes me up on a Saturday morning.
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06-28-2012 22:04 by
Marshall the Great
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When a traffic light is out of service you should just treat the intersection as a demolition derby.
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07-02-2012 14:07
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I'm looking for sponsors to prove that money can't make me happy.....Please send generous donations so I can conduct my experiment! ツ
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12-09-2011 11:42 by
totalpackage
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Ladies, the knight with the shiniest armour has done the least amount of brave or cool sh*t.
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06-18-2012 20:34
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I think there are more pictures of cats in my news feed than people
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07-02-2012 13:27 by
Joseph Robert
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I would like to congratulate myself on placing 18,476th in the "Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest!" ツ
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07-04-2012 18:34 by
totalpackage
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I think my front door faces the wrong direction. People keep finding it.
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03-12-2012 15:04 by
K-Mac
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If these walls could talk, I'd probably stop hanging things with nails.
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05-19-2012 07:21 by
flinnie
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Wyclef Jean is running for President of Haiti. He should pledge to make Lauryn Hill his Secretary of Miseducation.
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08-20-2010 15:53 by
jdpower
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I wish James J. Lee had watched CNN News instead of the Discovery channel.
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09-01-2010 18:54 by
Billy
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If I come into work really early, each time I say "Hi" to whoever is there all I'm really doing is gathering witnesses to justify my early departure.
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09-03-2010 06:36
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In college I was the Brett Favre of retiring from drinking.
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09-11-2010 19:32
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I wasn't going to let my son sign up for soccer, then I remembered something very important... "Soccer Mom's".
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10-01-2010 19:40
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Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window
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04-28-2010 22:29 by
Joser
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LinkedIn Bans P rostitutes And E scorts! I wasn't even aware this service was available on LinkedIn. Why am I always late to the party?
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05-15-2013 00:16
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