bego Funny Status Messages

   While Facebooking, cars in front of you may be closer than expected.

   My girlfriend found lipstick in my pocket, I told her straight up I was cheating, there was no way I was going to confess I sell AVON..

   To all the students who drop out of high school: Remember two things, 1. You tried your best. 2. I don't like onions on my Big Mac.

   I hope the Olympics has taught kids and parents that in real life you do not get a trophy just for participating.

   How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

   Romantic films are known to ruin relationships as they give unrealistic expectations to women about what to expect from men. Porn has the same effect on men.

   If gas prices keep going up I'm cutting off the bottom of my car and I'm "Flintstoning" That mf!

   Oh, you brought a laptop with you to Starbucks? You must be so very important.

   Kids today will never know the pain of the Dewey Decimal system and how to catalog library books on index cards.

   So many people fall in love with the wrong person, simply b/c the wrong person will often say all the right things.

   When girls or any women ask you "What?" In reply, it isnt cause they didnt hear you. Its because they giving you a CHANCE to CHANGE what you just said.

   Vodka mixes well with everything, except decisions.

   omg I just found out I'm allergic to exercise...at first I get all flushed, then I break out in a sweat, my heart starts pounding really fast, then I cant breath........i wont be doing that again!

   A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.

   Baby Shirt Idea: Did 9 months in solitary confinement

   Dear MTV, I'm gonna start my own TV network called RealityTV (RTV) and play nothing but music videos.

   That moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto-correct is like "I got nothing, man."

   Deja Vu: When God thinks something is so funny he has to rewind it to show it to his friends.

   The Walk Of Shame: When you toss a paper ball in the trash, miss, then have to go get it.

   you never realize how annoying people are until you add them on facebook :)