Will Funny Status Messages

   Got a flannel sweater for the 9th year in a row. Thanks mom! Can't wait to see what I get next year.

   Lite: the new way to spell "Light," now with 20% fewer letters!

   Do you want people to accept you as you are? Or do you want them to like you?

   Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more. A friend or money?

   (1)Google Translate (2)Type,"Will Justin Bieber ever hit puberty" (3)Eng 2 Vietnamese (4)Copy/Paste the Vietnamese Words (5)Vietnamese 2 English

   Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.

   In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip.

   It's going to be really funny watching 2012 in 2013.

   I'd rather hear a dry fart from a wet dog than hear another one of your boring stories

   In Los Angeles they don't throw out their garbage. They make it into television shows.

   Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

   Have you ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had?

   I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks?

   Dear Algebra, All year you made me try to find your X !!! Listen buddy...She's not coming back....So please get over it and move on!!

   Hey, just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!

   The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

   I was on snookies facebook and poked her. Now I need to get my facebook checked for herpes.

   ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.

   Just saw a bumper sticker that said Distracted drivers crash, hang up and drive. Then I crashed into him because I was reading the sticker.

   Can someone please tell mew when tv becomes "new" again? Everything claims "all new" but all I see is the same old garbage.