Boo Funny Status Messages

   I think They should make a Pregnancy app. You just pee on your phone and it tells you if you are pregnant. Your move apple!

   The awkward moment when one of your friends has the same facebook status as you...Damn this page.. they are onto me!

   Facebook is the Hotel California of the new millennium. You can log out any time you like, but you can never leave.

   #891... you didnt inbox me a number but I've always wanted to say this to you. Your depressing posts piss me off to no end! You need a haircut, I dont think he loves you anymore either, and I really dont give a Shi! what adorable trick your cat did today!

   oly crap! I just realized that I'm still "it" from a game of tag in 1987.

   I got gas today for $2.45 to bad it was from taco bell

   How does that old saying go.. Nice guys finish, In their hand?

   Dear windshield wipers,...You cant touch this.....Sincerely, The triangle

   Sometimes, I just want to copy someone else's status word for word just to see if they would notice..

   It's My late night and I Forgot to bring my lunch and dinner to work with me. My "things I would do for a Klondike bar" list, is rapidly starting to grow!

   The awkard moment when your names is also Casey Anthony, and you log into facebook just to find that all of your frineds want you to burn in hell..

   What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?.... Wipes his ass.

   No I do not want to see who deleted you from facebook in 2010.. And if you keep it up, I'm going to be first on the list for 2011..

   Ok, it's official...I spend way too much time on facebook. I just caught myself giving my boss a thumbs up because I liked something He said.. God help me!

   Can you believe that people are actually paying Atheists $150 to take care of their pets after the Rapture???!!! I'm just mad because I paid more than that for them to harvest my crops on Farmville.... :(

   Today I'm wearing my new underwear, On the front it reads "I would do anything for love" and the back says "But I wont do that"...

   Would you tap that???..I wouldnt even poke it on facebook!!!!

   This just in... OJ Found not quilty... Oh wait...

   Flash forward to July 5, 2024 headlines..... 13 years to the day of being found not guilty of the murder of her daughter...Casey Anythony breaks into a Las Vegas hotel, guns drawn to steal back old pictures of when she was a professional club rat! (See OJ

   You have no idea how bad I want to write "Navidad" under the "For Lease" sign up the street!....Just Sayin...