@anikethmendonca Funny Status Messages

   If strippers are now called exotic dancers... Then all drug dealers should be referred to as exotic pharmacists

   Your secrets are safe with me, I wasn't even listening to you.

   My graduation speech will be, "I'd like to thank google, google & uh.. google..."

   If you can't fix it with duct tape, WD-40 or a martini it aint worth fixing.

   They say milk gives you strength. Drink 3 glasses and move a wall. You can't. But drink 3 shots of vodka and see - the wall moves on its own! :p =D

   Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money

   Drinking & driving is extremely dangerous. Yesterday evening while driving, I stuck my arm out of the window to indicate right turn and someone stole my beer...

   [+[__] :] <- Like my Gameboy?

   A beer bottle may not be shaped like a Boomerang but it still comes back to me every weekend :-D ;-) :-)

   WHen some one says "Hey, can I borrow a pen?", I think *Hmmm, which pen do I not need back?*

   So why do people say they're speechless... And then give a speech?

   My mom says it's her house, but when it's time to clean, it magically becomes my house, too.

   Any fool can be a Father, but it takes a real man to be a Daddy!!

   In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?

   Justin Beiber always sings about girls, she must be a lesbian

   A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.

   If you watch Titanic backwards, . It is a heart warming tale of a Ship Which jumps out of the water And Saves lots of drowning people . . .

   If there is a line of GAY people is it still a STRAIGHT line ?

   If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets

   Irony is not dead. The U.S. Embassy in Kabul wishes the people of Afghanistan a "Happy and Peaceful Independence Day."