Delores Disenchanted Funny Status Messages

   What's the difference between a bagel and a $lutty fat chick? One's a roll with a hole. The other is a hole with a roll.

   I've noticed that the number of "likes" for intelligent quotes, exponentially jumps during the hours that Elementary school is in session, and after the 8:30 pm milk and cookies before bed ritual.

   So if someone invites you to their wedding, it's apparently bad form to say "Sorry I can't make it but I'll come to your next one".

   Presidential Election 2012. Herman Cain Vs. Barack Obama Better known as Cain vs Unable.

   Tonight's dinner was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I made it using the recommended serving amounts indicated on the jars. Who came up with these standards...an Ethiopian?

   Hi. I just had a complete makeover. Hair, nails, makeup, boob$ etc. Bought all new clothes to fit my new size 3 figure. All this just so I can attract another a$$hole.