Funny Status Messages

   What's 23 + 44 ???

   The obesity problem is so bad in the U.S. that the 2 out of 3 people surveyed count as 4 out of 5!

   If you’re single, and you know it… Pet your cat!🎵🎶

   My boss asked me who was stupid, me or him. I told him that we all know he doesn't employ stupid people.

   Remember... drunken words are sober thoughts.

   If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks... Cost me an arm and a leg!

   It's amazing what that one degree can do in your home temp wise, up or down.

   Of course, I could kill you with kindness. But honestly, crushing your ego with sarcasm is just more my style.

   Have you ever used the bathroom and pushed so hard you reset your back.

   Well behaved men rarely make history.