Funny Status Messages

   passing away to margaritaville

   RIP Jimmy Buffett. The Hurlburger's in Paradise.

   Time travel is real, but you just don't know it,......yet

   Why did God create economists? Because he didn't want meterorologists to be the only people wrong all the time.

   My name is, P01135809

   I won't be participating in the 2023-2024 Wuhan Flu Games!

   More like your meth smoking mama driving in the left lane on I-95.

   I said to the waiter, "This fish is dry." And he said, "Yes sir, we had to take it out of the water."

   Hurricane Idalia is slowly heading north at 8 mph. Kinda like a person of color driving in the left lane on I-95.

   The attendees at classic rock concerts are getting so old that I have to make sure I'm at a music venue instead of the Early Bird Special at Denny's.

   Stressed spelled backwards is desserts . . . . It all makes sense now

   Milk Duds: When you want some candy but also crave a dislocated jaw

   Two hundred fifteen pounds? More like five hundred pounds.

   But the baby bear said, "My porridge is just right. My porridge is just right." That bear's repeating.

   Little people gets paid under the table

   Social Networking: Facebook has degraded to displaying women's behinds playing golf and bowling?

   The worst marketing blunder in history was not putting cassette decks in cell phones.

   There'd be no reason to see a doctor if WebMD gave out prescriptions.

   I can't understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women's clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."

   Disney World is a lot like Viagra. They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.