Aaron Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The only appointments I'm ever on time for are disappointments.
←Rate | 04-07-2013 21:16 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sick of having to go to 2 different huts to buy pizza & sunglasses.
←Rate | 04-03-2013 15:06 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just imagine for a moment, if you can, a world without hypothetical situations.
←Rate | 04-02-2013 17:46 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon The easiest way to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
←Rate | 04-02-2013 17:41 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just ate my toothbrush to clean those hard-to-reach places.
←Rate | 04-02-2013 15:34 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon The hardest part of being a zombie would be hiding your excitement of being one.
←Rate | 04-01-2013 19:01 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hospitals don't like it when you unplug things to charge your phone without asking first
←Rate | 03-26-2013 18:51 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't get your panties in a bunch. The nicer ones are sold individually.
←Rate | 03-25-2013 20:14 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got a paper cut turning the pages in my self-defense book.
←Rate | 03-25-2013 09:28 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time Beyoncé types out her name, she has to google "Pokémon" and then copy/paste the "é".
←Rate | 03-25-2013 09:21 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon "What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?" Officer: "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."
←Rate | 03-23-2013 16:36 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if Medusa ever just relaxed and put her snakes back in a ponytail?
←Rate | 03-22-2013 22:48 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon A dog running a hundred miles to retrieve a stick? That's pretty far-fetched.
←Rate | 03-22-2013 18:44 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can lead a human to knowledge.... but you can't make them think.
←Rate | 03-20-2013 13:46 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is going so slowly my life is flashing before other people's eyes.
←Rate | 03-19-2013 17:12 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seems like I can't go anywhere in my house without somebody recognizing me.
←Rate | 03-19-2013 15:05 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I read quantum physics magazines for the particles.
←Rate | 03-19-2013 15:01 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I swear I can hear Google sigh every time I start typing in their search bar.
←Rate | 03-19-2013 14:51 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you had... one shot... one opportunity... to take two samples at costco when the dude's not lookin... would you capture it... or let it slip
←Rate | 03-18-2013 09:42 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm really lucky that I was born on my birthday.
←Rate | 03-15-2013 16:42 by Aaron Comments (0)  




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