GaryKoenig Funny Status Messages

   Apparently, it's rude to poke someone in the forehead and say, "Skip intro" when they start talking to you.

   What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes!

   Santa said I've been so good this year that he put me at the top of his nice list.

   Why do people say, "Tuna fish sandwich"? Nobody says, "Chicken Bird Sandwich".

   I didn't even realize how broke I was until someone stole my identity and it ruined their life.

   Just checked my bank account. And it looks like everyone is getting text messages for Christmas.

   Before you mock children who still believe in Santa, remember there are still adults who believe everything they read on Facebook.

   Santa has been reading your posts all year. Most of you are getting dictionaries.

   They say it's better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable, but how about a compromise like moderately rich and just moody?

   My level of sarcasm is to the point where I don't even know if I'm kidding or not.

   Companies need to stop making employees feel guilty for taking vacation days and time off just because they failed to hire a sufficient amount of people.

   Do the Chinese realize when visiting the USA they're buying souvenirs made in their country?

   I really think it's time to take the warning labels off everything and let stupidity work itself out of the gene pool.

   If I truly posted what was on my mind, I'd most likely be in a psychiatric hospital right now.

   First rule of family gatherings, always bring your own vehicle so you can leave when you want.

   Black Friday special!!! Stay at home and save 100%.

   Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Don't forget to set your scales back 10 pounds.

   This Christmas instead of gifts I'm giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

   To all the people that couldn't stand me this year, just letting you know next year is going to be even worse.

   Someone stole my identity... And then sent it back with $100 and a note that said, "So sorry man. Hope things work out".