Funny Status Messages

   Y’all really spending $300 for hotels rooms on Valentine’s Day to do the same 3 position y’all do at home?

   When people on Facebook ask a stupid question, and then say "Go!"...that's usually what I do...I GO!...Ain't none of us got time to stick around and answer your rhetorical questions..it's probaby time for you to get a companion pet.

   A 30 second super bowl ad cost 5 million dollars. Trump said that's crazy, 30 seconds only cost me 130 thousand.

   Why the hell is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time!

   I just want a man to rub my butt without trying to shove something in it.

   If a Fire-Fighter's career can go up in smoke, and a plumber's career can go down the drain, can a hooker get laid off?

   Anyone here with one leg? I have a ton of socks you can have.

   Was nice to see the Rams and Patriots make it to the Maroon 5 concert last night..

   I don't know about you, I could have done without Adam's wardrobe malfunction...

   Super bowl sunday is now also known as Janet Jackson appreciation day.

   Ladies in Atlanta this weekend, every big dude is not an NFL player, don't get knocked up by the cook from Waffle House

   These teams were playing like they know whoever wins goes to the white house

   Maroon 5 : Patriots 3 :Rams 0

   I notice that mitch mcconnell sounds like James Cagney when he played a gangster in the movies ?

   Sometimes one middle finger isn't enough, that's why we have two hands.

   I'm sorry I cited the five second rule when I dropped your baby

   There are people who've been through hell and are trying to entertain you ungrateful urinary tract infections for free. Be kind.

   I had 5 minutes to spare this morning so I figured women out.

   I don’t even care who wins this Maroon 5 concert

   Just accidentally took a drink out of someone else’s glass, tell my mom I loved her