Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I wish my car's back-up camera had a "Save" button, because some of the expressions on their faces.
←Rate | 05-05-2019 12:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is your yearly reminder to not put bananas in fruit salads
←Rate | 05-05-2019 12:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon please don't be laundry in here, please don't be laundry in here, please don't be laundry in here... -me opening the dryer
←Rate | 05-05-2019 12:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only supporting the far-rights isn't uniting people. Just saying.
←Rate | 05-05-2019 11:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The number of hobbies a man has is directly proportionate to how cray his wife is...
←Rate | 05-05-2019 10:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If any part of your life is "ultra", I don't have the energy to be friends with you...
←Rate | 05-05-2019 08:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How can someone support anyone who ONLY supports the far-right?
←Rate | 05-05-2019 03:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon May the 4th be with you all today.
←Rate | 05-04-2019 12:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon brb getting down to business to defeat the Huns
←Rate | 05-04-2019 01:07 by @thegreatstonedragon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yeah, I've always heard of it, and the young and old, but the fact is that we have to be awake for a few days ago by the end of the season.
←Rate | 05-04-2019 00:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I only buy extra virgin olive oil...Because I don't know where those other oils have been.
←Rate | 05-03-2019 14:15 by JohnY Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tried to order plain Jello at a restaurant and it was fruitless.
←Rate | 05-03-2019 13:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Avengers: Endgame, Spoiler Alert! Despite impossible odds and seemingly insurmountable obstacles, the good guys still manage to win.
←Rate | 05-03-2019 11:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks for bringing back a lot of classic diseases, anti-vaxxers!
←Rate | 05-03-2019 11:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon RIP Chewbacca aka Peter Mayhew. I’d like to say a few words if I may. RAAARAWWARARWAAAR.
←Rate | 05-02-2019 19:50 by Cicci Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I'm more night hamster than owl," I say, pushing another wad of food into my cheek pouch at 2:00am.
←Rate | 05-02-2019 10:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife likes it doggie style. I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead.
←Rate | 05-01-2019 14:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I owned a company, I'd make my stock symbol WTF just so I could hear the TV guys say WTF all day...
←Rate | 05-01-2019 10:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The government is not paying scientist to come up with fake scientific information for the fun of it. They don't want to misinform the world just because it's funny to do.
←Rate | 04-30-2019 16:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't understand people who say the moon landings were fake? I mean what did the government spend the 24 billion dollars on? To pay hundreds of thousands of people working on the Apollo program to sit around and play checkers?
←Rate | 04-30-2019 15:20 by Moon Comments (0)  




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