Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Some People are like slinkies,, not good for anything, but fun to watch tunmble down stairs(:

   Thinks your so vain you proberly think this status is about you!

   drinking tequila in the shower....09:07 AM

   vertically challenged

   not the empire but I still strike back...

   knows that your husband isn't realy taking tennis lessons on Sundays...

   needs a Facebook button that says "What you just posted makes me want to punch you in the face." Put it beside the "Like" button. Just a suggestion.

   tired of following his dreams, he/she is just gonna ask where they are going and hook up with them later

   walked into a shop this morning when the woman working said "if you need anything, I'm Jill". I haven't met anyone with a conditional identity before.

   Change is inevitable... Unless your a vending machine

   now listed as single but in a relationship,its complicated.

   wishes he could throw magic dust on my problems to make them disappear. Like a wizard. Or a crack addict.

   needs a Facebook button that says "What you just posted makes me want to stab you."

   to all the wackos who believe in global warming try coming to Idaho in the middle of March..It'll snow

   informing you that 95% of teens would cry if they saw the Jonas Brothers at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this EVERYWHERE if you are in the 5% that would shout Jump!!

   and Richard Simmons are now friends

   wants to Google her Myspace while she Twitters my Yahoo.

   wants to say to the nice stranger he saw while driving around, "Next time you wave at me, use all of your fingers."

   two wrongs don't make a right... but two Wrights make an airplane!

   may have Memory Loss but, at least he doesn't have Memory Loss