Funny Status Messages

   When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear

   When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.

   sick of people saying "im so sick I feel like ive been hit by a truck" well, I have a truck if they really want to know the feeling! :)

   wondering why there are Interstate highways in Hawaii?

   wonders if the local Palm Reader that went out of business saw it coming?

   Sometimes you have to be completely torn down before you can be rebuilt.

   At the peak of the storm, the shallowness of the root structure is revealed.

   Forgiveness = revenge completed!

   if you dont like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk!

   wondering if he can grow weed on farmville and sell it on mafia wars........Moscow....

   ___________________/\_____________\0/_______'' Help Shark''

   My Wife says I'm too Immature, and if I don't Grow Up it's going to erect a barrier between us .....Hee Hee Hee....Erect

   Sick of all the iPhone ads? There's an app for that.

   iAm so tired of hearing about stupid iPhone apps...

   pre drinking for new years

   the journey of one thousand miles begins with a single cup of coffee

   has an app for that.

   poor life decisions on your part, does not constant an emergancy on my part.

   rejected to be the 5th Ninja Turtle.

   wonders if chickens don't have fingers, why do they still sell them in resturants?