Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   was uncool before uncool was cool.

   knows that God only created so many perfect heads. All the rest, he covered with hair.

   was blinded by your beauty, so I am gonna need your name and number for insurance purposes...

   ~ Free Tibet! (with purchase of 2nd Tibet of equal or lesser value)

   is trying out for "Home School Musical"

   Me without you is like a nerd without braces, A shoe without laces, aSentenceWithoutSpaces

   thinks the best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

   used to be a lifeguard, but some blue kid got her fired.

   thinks nanotechnology is going to be huge.

   loves giving home made gifts... so which one of the kids you want?

   's keys are really good at hide and go seek,they are definitely winning.

   Thinks artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity

   says my Karma just ran over my Dogma!

   has advice for the day: If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.

   says "If at first you don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie."

   ~ Telepath wanted...you know where to apply.

   's laugh is so contagious they created a vaccine for it

   wishes people would wear pants correctly!

   does't care what anybody says, there is just something fundamentally awesome about sporks

   trying to put m&m's in alphabetical order...This could take a while...