Funny Status Messages

   One minute after New Year We are going to have the above binary combination.- 01 : 01 01 / 01 / 10

   Mornings would go a lot smoother if someone would introduce "Garanimals" for men. Tags match? The outfit will work!

   dont be afraid of the dark, be afraid of whats in the dark....

   Just when you think you got the answer...someone changes the question.

   Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a weak man all day. Wearing a backpack & a turtleneck is lke being strangled by a weak man as a dwarf tries to pull you down.

   I woke up this morning and my friend said "Did you sleep good?" I said "No. I made a few mistakes."

   Anyone want to chip in and make a counteroffer to buy back Joe Lieberman?

   Back in my day, evolution simply meant a more badass Pokemon.

   Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I donno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make.

   insecure and naturally picks on those who are weaker than himself to give him some demented sense of self worth.

   I'm not a millionaire. I thought I would be by the time I was thirty, but I wasn't even close. Then I thought maybe by forty, but by forty I had less money than I did when I was thirty.

   Just walked in the shower with my socks on....AGAIN

   A South Korean woman passed her written driving exam on the 950th try, taking the test every day for four years. She then went to a random typewriter and banged out a Shakespearean play.

   ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

   I remember when the candleshop caught on fire. Everyone just stood around singing "Happy Birthday".

   my wife cooks more on Café World! then she does here at home at least the the virtual people are eating well

   How much horsepower does your horse have?

   Idea for a Christmas Party: Have two guys dress as Jesus and Santa Claus. One brings wine the other brings Eggnog with vodka. Santa brings his 12 reindeer playboy bunnies. All at your mother-in-law's house. ONE BIG JINGLE FOR THE YEAR.

   FACEBOOK + CHRISTMAS = Endless status updates reminding you what month it is. Not to mention pages and pages of people's Xmas pics.

   wondering if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.