Funny Status Messages

   thank you for the thousands and thousands of reminders letting me know what today is. Good job Thanks!! Keep me posted!

   You keep Believing, I'll keep Evolving.

   I think I overdosed on my family.....Santa has the right idea....only visit some ppl once a year.....

   Christ's Hope Rescuing Iniquitous Souls To Miraculously Administer Salvation!!! Thank God for Christmas!!!!

   The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli...

   If you can't figure out what to get someone for Christmas, get them a gift card! It's like saying, "Here's $20... go get your own damn gift!"

   wishing God Almighty a happy birthday! They grow up so fast!

   Money cant buy happiness, but at least I can pick my own misery.

   pissed..he just bought a DVD entitled "Tiger's 18 Favorite Holes", and the damn thing is about GOLF!!

   just shot his eye out..

   wondering if Tiger Woods is dreaming of a White Mistress?

   eating Babybels at this special time of year. After all, Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas without the baby cheeses.

   Rihanna can stopp tryin' . . . Seems like Chris Brown slapped the music outta her. . .

   standing in line at Target and just received a dirty look from the woman in front of him, after he started dancing to her obnoxiously loud "Sex and The City"-theme ringtone.

   EDGE ▂ ▃ ▅ ▆ █

   Festivus is a secular holiday celebrated on December 23rd. It was created by writer Dan O'Keefe and introduced into popular culture by his son Daniel, a screenwriter for the TV show Seinfeld

   I dont believe in Santa...but with no money in my pocket ....I think I will change my opinion about him.....

   Happy Christmakwanzzakkah

   can't stand on his own because he's too-tired and a bicycle can't stand on its own because it's two-tired

   if my right leg was christmas and my left leg was easter, I would love for you to visit in between the holidays