Funny Status Messages
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So exactly how many "become a fan of" or "join a groups" that promises a free something does it take for people to finally figure out that they don't work? I mean good lord, gullible much? 
Always remember that the choices you make may have serious repercussions. The regret I may feel later from the hot wings I eat earlier is a perfect example.
After getting out of bed and not seeing the shoe that one of my dogs left in hallway, I have come to the conclusion that gravity is a b!tch.
I have decided that I am not overwieght, instead I am a nutritional overachiever.
I think 3 left-handed monkeys, a shaved llama and pigeon with diarrhea could do a better job on designing the fb layout.
As I have gotten older a lot of my opinions have changed, but what hasn't changed is mine are the only ones that matter.
searching on google for her lost sweater
PIMP Mode [On] - Off
the Super Bowl is on February 7, The pre game started on February 3.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list
Shin and/or Toe: Definition: Device(s) used to locate furniture in the dark......
Use Does anyone know how to cancel a bid on e-bay?? I put in a bid for a "Mickey Mouse outfit" and now it seems I am only 15 minutes away from owning the "Saints Football Team"....
Why do men get their great ideas in bed? Because they are plugged into a genius.
$14.97 cents of hotness. Which means that although my good looks cannot pay my bills they certainly can pay for a pizza which will give me $14.95 cents of temporary gratification and 2 cents to tell you off!
How is getting a bj from a 75-year lady like bungee jumping? Whatever you do,don't look down!
Ashley cole was arrested for speeding!! In his defence, he was told tht John Terry's car was parked outside his house!!! 