Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   currently the guiness world record holder for the worlds tallest midget....

   So far this year we've had 6 Earthquakes with magnitude of 7.0 and up! Now we have the Iceland volcano that has shut down most of air travel in Europe. What is next?

   dont think of it as another day since you've last seen someone think of it as one day closer to seeing them again -RIP-

   You know you were raised catholic...if while watching Star Wars you hear "May the force be with you" and you respond "And also with you"

   First they came for the wealthy, and I did not speak out--because I was not wealthy;Then they came for the business owners, and I did not speak out--because I was not a business owner; Then they came after my money--and there was no one left to speak for

   Dear Mathematics. Please grow up and solve your own problems

   just been outside and got hit on the head by a lasagne, black forest gateaux and a garlic bread .... must be the fall out from iceland

   how about you jump from cloud 9 to 1, that way you can see my middle finger better !

   If you can read, thank a teacher. If you can read in English, thank a soldier.

   if your still gathering rocks to throw at me,you must have a LOT of rocks and I'm scared.

   We were all born nudist. I'm thinking of returning to my roots.

   Friends are like computers : they enter into your life,saves you in their heart,formats your problems & never deletes you from their memory.

   I HaTe PeOpLe WhO WrItE tHiS wAy !!

   I accidentally said “LOL” today. I think I deserve to be shot.

   getting to the point where he has to choose between Facebook and having a degree

   Just saw a girl in a plain push wheelchair holding on to her guy's motorized wheelchair and rolling behind him. Dude, she's using you.

   lowered her expectations to the point that they've already been met. <sigh>

   drinks... we drink hard... we drink loud... and we drink often. it may not be pretty, but damnit we have a good time...

   sick and is therefore listening to The Cure.

   Ahh Bud light the sweet lower calorie nectar made by mother nature