Funny Status Messages

   And just like that, people on Facebook went from being politicians to being epidemiologists.

   I am trying to collect as many New England Patriots jerseys and t-shirts as possible. I want a stockpile in case the toilet paper shortage gets worse.

   I have never been “the one that got away”, but I have often been the one that got in the way.

   Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn't realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It's causing quite a stir...

   Purell is the most expensive bottle of alcohol in the country.

   The corconavirus was originally gonna invade the USA but ChucK Norris kicked kicked so hard it landed in Chinaso hard

   I'm praying... that those who bought up all the water and TP get the Coronavirus first, and experience it in it's most severe form.

   New pickup line: hey why don't you come back to my place, I have toilet paper😉

   I hope everyone who bought 27 bottles of disinfectant realized that we all need to wipe our hands for them to be protected.

   One day we'll all be just a memory in people's lives, the trick is to make sure you do everything humanly possible to be a good memory. By, The cashier at Chipotle

   Some people aren't shaking hands because of the Corona virus. I'm not shaking hands because everyone's almost out of toilet paper.

   I saved 15 per cent on my insurance by switching to haiku.

   I've always known my lifetime of alienating friends and family would one day pay off.

   It's gotten so bad that Trump has reached out to Puerto Rico and asked for the paper towels back..

   Has a 24 pack of Charmin Extra Soft. Willing to trade for a bottle of Imodium A-D.

   aaargh ... just what I need is for my Wife to have another reason to demand I stay at least six feet away from her at all times.

   Some people aren’t shaking hands because of the Coronavirus. I’m not shaking hands because everyone is out of toilet paper.

   BREAKING: Snow White is down to 6 Dwarves.. Sneezy was just placed in quarantine.

   Why are all these farmers committing suicide in the midwest area? This is sad.

   I'll start worrying about a virus just as soon as the Germans make one. Nothing made in China is going to put me down.