Funny Status Messages

   that old woman walking around with the trophy is killing me lol wonder if she even knows whats going on, or if she just smiling cause she went number 2...

   Patroits must have been in charge of the commercials this year, cuz THEY SUCKED!

   Since the Superbowl likes to promote has-been artists, I take it we'll be seeing Justin Bieber in next year's half time show

   Hey Bellichoke let em walk in the endzone, you f#ck...

   The Book of ELI, was opened in the Fourth Quarter of the SuperBowl!!!!

   lol :57 sec left- this is going to be the longest 2 hours ever

   Everyone is gifted, but some people never open their package...

   I may not be the best, but I'm definitely not like the rest!

   Dear haters, I couldn`t help but notice that "awesoME" ends with "me" and "Ugly" starts with "U".

   Any person can be nice to my face, but it takes a real friend to be nice behind my back...

   A person who says they will never lie to you is probably lying already

   I must need glasses because everywhere I look, people seem to have two faces!

   What Woodstock 1969 tought us is that life isn`t about waiting for the storm to pass, it`s about learning to dance in the rain...

   Some women should realize that they've lost the moon while trying to count the stars…

   If you don`t like something, change it. If you can`t change it, change your attitude. Don`t complain...

   Friend: "Your phone`s ringing." Me: "Yeah, phones do that..."

   Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

   why is Betty White singing at halftime of the Super Bowl??

   Wondering if I can purchase "I'm Sixty and I know it" by LMFAO & Madonna on ITunes.

   If anybody slips and falls down at mid field in the second half I'm blaming the sweat that dripped from Madonna's vag.