Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I'm Sychic and I know what you're thinking right now. You're thinking I spelled psychic wrong.

   Harvesting work from paperclips

   Zero by dividing.

   I'm electrineering the engineers.

   If ignorance is bliss, you must be ecstatic at all times.

   Did you develop your personality in a car crash?

   What doesn’t kill you disappoints the rest of us.

   You could have been an extra in Chernobyl.

   Just saw your picture on social media, and you look like a “before” picture.

   Don’t worry, someday the other one will drop.

   You do you. Because God knows no one else will.

   Pickleball. As if tennis wasn't g@y enough already.

   come on guys, off my back, I posted some funny ones this time. Gary K.

   Don’t trust people who avoid the sun. They’re shady.

   i like the idea of shutting up but sorry that’s not for me-Gary K.

   I am not fat....Love for food has made me a nutritional overachiever.

   .Its Better to lose a lover THAN love a loser

   A new study found that about one percent of the U.S. population is allergic to gluten, while the other 99 percent are sick of having to hear about it.

   3 things I will never understand: 1. The meaning of life. 2. The universe. 3. How Spongebob & Patrick made those sounds effects in that box.

   I’m taking my box of wine back and filing a complaint. It said once opened it would last 6 weeks, but it was gone after 3 hrs.