Funny Status Messages
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Right now in houses across the Nation, parents are trying to explain to their kids where their college funds went. 
still in a relationship. Cuz I didnt win the mega millions
To all of you who posted your lotto numbers: I copied them and played them too. If you win, I win. And I get half. Think of it as a pre-emptive divorce.
I want you to feel like it's home when you're in between my thighs. ;)
Has A Bigger Possibility Getting Killed On My Way To Buy A Megamillion Ticket Than Winning It
N!gg@h please. You no g@ngster, you too black, you a Thug..
Just rubbed the blue dot from the National Enquirer (fingers crossed).
When I'm a millionare, I'm hiring someone whose only job is to stand at the top of a stairwell and high-five me when I get to the top.
At a Birthday Party, I dared one kid to suck all the helium out of all the balloons. Today this kid is known as Justin Bieber.
Sleep + social life = Bad grades. Good grades + sleep = No social life. Good grades + social life = No sleep.
Congratulations! You've won a lifetime supply of air! Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
A snail that meows, a squirrel in an astronaut suit, a crab with a whale as a daughter, The creators of SPONGEBOB were obviously high.
If I die in my sleep, my programmable coffee-maker is still going to make a full pot in the morning.... Someone will appreciate that.
Anyone checked lately to see if there are still other web sites?
I just hit a guy in a Smart Car with my bicycle.......................he didn't make it
If I hit the $500 Million remind me to get a hold of Mitt Romney and ask him who does his taxes
psychology suggests that religious people are categorized in Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders. If you want to be sure, google it.
Roses are red violets are blue...it's Friday night and I'm sick of stating the obvious to you
F I win the..$US- 640 mega millions JACKPOT..Im Building a Death Star..well down payment to start it any ways..!!
Oh so...they taking money made from Gas to give it to the winner of the MegaMillion Lottery!! Aint that some sh!t!!! 