Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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trying to figure out how a day celebrating the resurrection of our savior was twisted into a giant bunny hiding psychedelic colored eggs and a basket full of grass and chocolate.... Seriously folks, don't do drugs only a pothead could have thought that up 
3.67 billion Women in the world and I just had to make my own sandwich! :(
They were talking about that Mary Magdalene in church again today. What a skank.
And on this day, high-fructose corn syrup rose again, in fulfillment of the scriptures. And there was childhood obesity. And it was good.
It is impossible to cut a cheese tray without eating the irregular cuts.
Bunnies must also contain tryptophan...Boy am I sleepy Zzzzzzzzz
Bubba Watson looks like Latka from the TV show Taxi
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it.
Nothing says 'Self absorbed a$$hole' like liking your own picture
I love Easter. My unborn children get to play find the egg tonight.
My mother used to hide the eggs in the same place every Easter... the dairy section of our local supermarket.
"Thou shall keep thy religion to thyself"
If you're close minded. Blind fold yourself as if there's nothin more to further see
When I pump gas now I do it with my eyes closed cause I'm praying that $35 worth will get me through the week...
We have the laziest Easter Bunny here....He didn't bother cooking or coloring the eggs and he hid them all in my fridge.
Todays a perfect day to walk down the street dressed as Santa Clause while holding a bottle of Jack Daniels, sobbing & yelling "You guys forgot about me!"
When I die I want written on my tombstone "Finally Offline".
On Sunday nights, if you listen closely,,, you can hear Monday taunting you with the "Jaws" theme.
a dying grandma told her grandson, "I have left you a farm with all the tools, animals, licences and 5million euros to your name". Dumbfounded the grandson said "WOW, you are so kind...I didn't know you had a farm, where is it". "Facebook" she said!
(._. ) (._.) ( ._.) ( '-' ) Oh pardon me, I'm just looking to give a f**k! 