Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Being dyslexic and online dating can be a big problem. My last date I thought it said nympho maniac. Turns out she was a necro'philic. 
To reality check , sorry for not being up on Buick stock like you ... don't care .. as far as Tiger ..again ..don't care .. You take this crap seriously , don't you .. man , please go get laid !!!
To the dumb ass that keeps posting stacti from over 3 years ago, Buick does still make cars, and SUVs. What planet are you from? Here's another slap in the face, Tiger won a tourney a few weeks ago.
SO homosexuailty is UNNATURAL , like cutting your grass ? like 90% of the food we eat ??Air conditioning ?? Live your own life ..leave everyone else alone !!!
FB a place where you can quote anyone at anytime without any reprecussions at all !!! Abraham Lincoln
What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.
Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.
Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint.
An Irishman walks out of a bar. ...
Like if you remember ... TONIGHT let it be Lowenbrau !!
Facebook...Where people present themselves as up and coming stars, yet no one, including 99% of the people on their friends list ever heard of them.
I remember whe a bathroom mirror was for brushing your teeth and picking zits , now it's for "duck" shots !!! Technology is awesome !!!
I just scrolled so far back on Facebook's Timeline... I wound up back over on MySpace. :(
Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.
My favorite post of yours is........ the one I hitch you to at night.
Darth Vader's #1 song on hid iPod ... every breath you take ...
Here is my new idea. In the express lane, once the cashier rings up 1 item too many, 50 pounds of pig sh!t falls on the customer.
Darth Vader had a hell of a case of emphysema.
Wife : Does these jeans make me look fat ?? Me : Nope ... your FAT makes you look fat !! 