Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
The "Its Complicated" status on Facebook is referring to women in general, right? 
My Internet just went down... Looks like I gonna have to settle for time with my wife
HEY,,,People of Canada: Why do you leave all of your coins here?
“Use divorce, Luke...” – Obi Wan, marriage counselor
And speaking of my EX,, " Divorce is Strong with this one." >> Darth Vader, Marriage counselor..
*Galaxy Breaking News* Mars Rover discovers location for the next Wal-Mart Superstore...coming soon hillbilly's in space!
Yo Hologram Tupac, I'm real happy for you and I'ma let you finish but Obi-Wan Kenobi was one of the best holograms of all time!
has anyone spoken to bigfoot lately?
Drink 'till she's cute, but stop before the wedding!
I really think the Mars Rover is scouting for the next Wal-Mart Superstore site.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away... so does having no medical insurance!
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
Honey, I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder...
24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ...coincidence?
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
If you ever want someone to call you back, leave a message saying: "Hey! I've got extra tickets to"....and hang up. Works every time.
Harry Potter Pickup Line: You don't have to say "lumos maxima" to turn me on. 