Funny Status Messages

   The subject of entomology really bugs me.

   $1400.00 per child? Hold up Maury, I just might be the father after all.

   Instead of phasing out fossil fuels, let's phase out the fossils in Congress.

   OK. Who is the genius who decided to call them Dentures and not Substitooths?

   Daylight Saving Time. Where we lose an hour of eating.

   I quit my job as a treadmill tester. I just felt like I wasn’t going anywhere.

   While we're on the subject. I am going to see a transgender male female stripper tonight. I'm confused now. . .

   A transgender wins women's lifting competition. Pathetic, that's not a woman.

   ничего особенного

   QAnon: because the Tea Party wasn't stupid enough.

   Why do all Queers talk like that? I mean all the Lesbians don't talk like a man... I don't get it. They must have something stuck in their mouth.

   Put the mosquitoes in charge of vaccine distribution do I have to think of everything around here

   I found a five dollar bill in the laundry and my credit score went up 12 points.

   Sex with me is like eating spaghetti with a spoon.

   Who would of thunk it folks, having a mask, rubber gloves, bleach and hand sanitizer is now acceptable to have in your vehicle.

   Bike Week is here at Daytona Beach. It's noisy and crazy! Speaking of noisy and crazy, next week is Tyke Week. It's a bunch of 5 year olds on Big Wheels driving on A1A hounding their moms for grilled cheese and putt putt golf.

   My wife gives me the speaking treatment.

   Married with Children was much funnier on TV.

   At some point, you’d think there’d be a governmental inquiry into the excessively high escape rate of Gotham City’s penitentiaries.

   Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?