Funny Status Messages

   If the US held a femininity contest between Trump and Vance, they'd both lose based on make-up application alone.

   The only reason there was a tiny bump on Wall Street on Friday was because U.S. investors were desperately looking for bargains at the end of a horrific week. Please don't post about Wall Street unless you know what you're actually talking about.

   Wall Street closed at 41,488.19 +674.62 on Friday. Keep clutching those pearls, ohh

   If the UK held a femininity contest between Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen Degeneres, they'd both lose.

   Of the last four Presidents, guess which two were never on Epstein's jet?

   This dog has spent the past ten minutes trying to bury his doggy biscuit in a blanket. I get it, lil buddy. I'm trying to bury my milkbone too.

   I be fancyin’ a wee bit O’ Fine Irish Ass...,, I mean..,,, Lass.

   Where's the "cheaper groceries and gas" people who trolled lefties online for years about fixing the economy? Where are all the “know it all” neckbeard dads and blond haired moms who voted for him? These losers seemed to have allllllllll disappeared..

   Anti-VAX moms are just women who regret not aborting their kids.

   The NY Times estimate of how many would die from USAID cuts *this year* is staggering. Two million from AIDS relief cuts, half a million from vaccine cuts from food aid cuts each, 600,000 from of malaria and tuberculosis cuts.... are we having fun yet?

   My friend is an anesthesiologist at a VA hospital. They are 4 anesthesiologists short of being full-staffed. And, thanks to him, they are under a hiring freeze. So, when your favorite veteran's quadruple bypass surgery gets canceled... oh well. Thank him.

   As historic storms sweep across Red States and leave more than 30 dead, rest assured he's too busy golfing to give a s***.

   AIRLINE...FAILED CASINOS... FAILED MARRIAGES... FAILED MORTGAGE... FAILED UNIVERSITY... FAILED VODKA... FAILED CHINA CONNECTION.... FAILED FOUR BANKRUPTCIES... Yeah, what a great business man lol

   The stock market has LOST 5 trillion dollars in 3 weeks... Donald Trump is the ozempic of the economy." LOL Bill Maher

   Would you like a tissue? Do you need a hug? Cry some more snowflake LOL I think it is funny that my posts will occupy the mind of this guy every day

   We're doing it because it annoys you 🙂

   n't it funny how red, white, and blue represent freedom until they're flashing behind you.

   Auto pen: your 2028 Dem candidate.

   Press 2 for English. "2"... AT&T Rep: "Dank you fur coling AD&D."

   At the grocery store, I saw a piece of paper lying on the floor with the following written on it: Pasta-Tomatoes-Mozzarella-Ricotta-Red Lipstick and Lube. Which means my soul mate is out there somewhere.