roN Funny Status Messages

   Raise your hand if you would add your boss as a Facebook friend. Now with the other hand slap yourself in the face.

   Conserve energy: How would you feel if someone turned you on and then left?

   FACEBOOK asks me what I'm thinking, TWITTER asks me what I'm doing, FOURSQUARE asks me where I am. Conclusion: Internet is my girlfriend!

   If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke.

   Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.

   By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

   There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again.

   Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

   Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.

   "Charlie Sheen and M. Qaddafi must of drank the Kool-Aid"-James Jones

   wonders why dogs run to the door when someone knocks? It's never for them.

   now knows what Johnny Cash was singing about in "Ring of Fire." He ate at Taco Bell last night.

   Oh Facebook! you go through more Design Changes than Women do wid clothes!!

   can't really remember, but I think my life must have been a lot more productive before I discovered Facebook...

   Dear God, it's me again. Can you bring the toolbox? My life needs fixing.

   How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on..

   I think Fb is stupid. Last time I tried changing my password to penis and Fb said it 'wasn't long enough'. How the hell do they know?

   Looking through a girls photos and thinking "slut..slut..slut..slut" :D

   Sometimes I wish I was a bird, so that when times got tough I could just fly over certain people and sh*t on their heads!

   Falling in love is like getting drunk. you wake up with a horrible hangover, swearing that you'll never drink again ;-)*