g0re Funny Status Messages

   Don't be disappointed if the person you love doesn't love you, because God has said "This is my world and even I couldn't make my every creation love me"

   GF: Babe what are you doing?? BF:Nothing much, really tired just going to sleep now hunny and you sweetheart ? GF:In the club standing right behind you

   People think i'm shy because I don't talk or participate much in conversations. The truth is I don't really give a f*ck what they're talking about.

   If you are living your life without giving an "f", You are living a li[ ]e .

   Without that little voice in your head you wouldn't be able to read this.

   Only 12 % of the earths population can solve this in 30 seconds. Say the 0pposite of these words: 1) always 2) coming 3) from 4) take 5) me 6) down

   Life is a b!tch, and Monday's its son..

   Right now your holding your phone in your right hand, having your 3 fingers behind, your pinky on the bottom & scrolling down with your thumb! :)

   Im gonna laugh when the day comes when our generation is saying "You spoiled little brats! All we had in our day was Xbox's, PS3's, iphones, flat-screen tv's & laptops, you ungrateful little sh!t"

   your not drunk till you have to grab the grass to keep from falling off the earth

   TEACHER: what is the opposite of laughing? STUDENT: fu*king... TEACHER: why is that? STUDENT: well laughing is Ha Ha Ha and fu*king is Ah Ah Ah ....

   What did one ocean say to the other ocean?...Nothing they just waved...Do you SEA what I did there?...I'm SHORE you did, BEACH.

   HAVE YOU FOUND A REAL JOB YET?!!!!! no,i've been searching for a FAKE job that'll pay me FAKE money,to pay all my FAKE bills off,so when I retire,i can move to a FAKE retiree home in florida.

   Dear Santa, I don't want anything for Christmas except for the person reading this to have an amazing Christmas.

   "I didnt do it..." "Then why are you laughing?" "Cause whoever did it is a f*cking genius!"

   "You will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory" - Spongebob

   Santa is an unfair a$shole, He gives the more expensive gifts to the wealthier kids!

   Life is like a pen!s. Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely. Then women make it hard.

   My math teacher staples Burger King applications on failed tests.

   How do you keep a blonde occupied for a few hours? Tell her to count the stairs on an escalator.