bfinest Funny Status Messages

   If you're not getting laid then bragging about being single and not in a relationship is pretty fckuing pointless.

   Dude don't tell me what's off limits!,It's not like I got your sister pregnant!!

   It disturbs me to see how much I say the word "Retard'' in everyday conversations..But never on Facebook where they are abundant.

   Just got through watching ''Black Swan".Thought it was a movie about nature turned out to be a softcore Porno.

   Not everyone that comes into your life needs to stay there.

   Sasha Gray,Bree Olsen,Lisa Ann,Lela Star,Mone Devine,Jasmine Byrne,Liz Vicious,Jade Marcella,Lavish Styles,Sky Lopez and Little Lupe......If all those names sound familiar to you I have news for you.

   Yesterday someone gave me a piece of "humble pie''.....Mine tastes better.

   Stacy's Mom-The Music video that lead an entire generation into masturbation.

   i feel bad that Snooki's baby has gotten laid before I did *forever a virgin*

   I feel bad that Snooki's baby has gotten laid before I did.*forever a vin *

   I'm hungry .......I really need to hire a wife.

   The ONLY reason I haven't unfriended you yet is because you have huge boobs and I have a feeling that I would miss seeing them.

   I think some people just shouldn't be allowed reproduce because of their IQ level.

   When someone dies I never know what to say, but I think about all the horrible things I shouldn't say and hold them in.

   ‎"Don't judge me" means "read my Facebook profile but don't look at the pictures."

   Teenage girls usually get upset after discovering they are pregnant, so I console them. "Your boobs will get bigger!"

   it just me, or are women really negative? It's always "No, no, no!" with them.

   I usually dodge becoming a third wheel by saying "I have the Flu''.

   Just watched a clip of Jersey Shore... Now my eye's have chlamydia.