Funny Status Messages

   Q. What do men want in a woman? A. XX chromosomes.

   Meteorologists said Kentucky offices were staffed and issuing alerts ahead of the severe weather in Pulaski and Laurel counties. Gov. Beshear confirmed that in a news conference on Saturday.

   He's never won against a man. Lolllllll

   I'm still glad kamala lost.

   He won Kentucky by 26 points then immediately disabled their tornado warning systems, leading to 18 deaths. Hahahahaha. As someone who doesn't live there, in that country I mean, I find news like this very, very entertaining and funny 😂

   He won Kentucky by 26 points then immediately disabled their tornado warning systems, leading to 18 deaths. Hahahahaha. As someone who doesn't live there, in that country I mean, I finally news like this very, very entertaining and funny 😂

   My name is Gary Koenig and I'm the king of lame comedy!!!

   It took me 2 seconds, Yoda.

   I have a pervert for a Dentist.....I mentioned to him that "I'd rather get pregnant than have a tooth filled !" My Dentist replied, "Decide now so I can adjust the chair accordingly

   Ooh Yoda! And did it really take you all day to come up with that insult?

   The Flat Earth Society has members all around the globe.

   With 2-in-1 Shampoo and Conditioner, how does the shampoo know to go first?

   Yoda: You're going to need more than just a glass of water to wash away all your ignorance. In fact, you're going to need a whole ocean to wash away the crap you're so full of.

   Coors Light is like making love in a canoe. It's f--k-ng close to water.

   You're going to need more than just a glass of water to wash away all your ignorance. In fact, you're going to need a whole ocean to wash away the crap you're so full of.

   It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

   Let’s just call a vacation what it is: the opportunity to live like an alcoholic for a little while.

   The least the anonymous GaryKoenig can do is serve everyone a glass of water with his dry jokes.

   Basketball is like the weather. With either, things can change within a few minutes.

   Tequila probably won’t fix your problems, but it’s worth a shot.