Funny Status Messages

   really bummed there was no wardrobe malfunction this year

   looks like there's a position open for an electrician at the Super Dome

   "Here, spray this on the fuse box" - Ray Lewis to Superdome technician.

   Manti Teo's girlfriend can lipsync to an autotuned track too

   That halftime show was the best....said no one ever!

   There will be a huge demand on all European hair this week! So buy stock and shares in hair!

   Need to stop drinking this....its like 50 million Beyonces on the stage all of a sudden......

   ‎1st half take...my grandma could've defended better than the 49ers!

   I wish they would quit interupting the commercials with this lame football game!

   My idea of a Superbowl is a toilet that cleans itself.

   In the off season Ray Lewis works out at the North Pole with Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen.

   I heard Colin Kaepernick is going to lip-sync his play calls

   Who"s gonna win the Super Bowl? I predict Harbaugh wins hands down.

   Time to watch me some Men in Tights. Yay Superbowl!

   Tony Romo tried to throw a Superbowl party but it was intercepted

   Not even a gun range has enough good guys with a gun to stop one bad guy with a gun!

   Just saw an ad that read: "Fluffer wanted for movie set". They must have a lot of pillows, huh? Well, I sent my resume in, wish me luck!

   First song on the radio this morning was "I got you babe"... for a second I thought I was re-living yesterday... and that I was Bill Murray...

   Are those Chinese tattoos on your neck the symbols for unemployment?

   Why raise your middle finger to a hater when you can break their jaw?!