Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Maybe the royal baby is Dennis Farina reincarnated. 
It's SO weird to think that before we invented cars,, if you hated someone, you had to key their horse.
It's a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone... Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
My pet rock pees on the floor.... Bad boy!! (Then I spank his butt)... Then mom lectures me for 2 hrs. about hitting rock bottom.
This whole rescue could have been avoided if he just stayed in his vehicle. He should have called it in and waited for ems to arrive.
I don't do kings and I don't support inbreeding.
George Zimmerman helped 4 people out of an overturned SUV. I'm guessing it wasn't a black SUV.
Nancy Grace TONIGHT: George Zimmerman's secret plot to kill the Royal Baby.
Well if he is the Duke of Wellington, I guess they could name him Beef.
About this whole Royal Baby thing, I googled "who cares?" and my name wasn't in the search results.
This is Britain's chance to outshine the USA by not naming the royal baby after a fruit, plant, or direction.
Kate is officially a milf
Royal baby born weighing 8 pounds, worth billions of them!
A terrorist attack killing thousands, a car wreck killing two. Nice try britboy
So Captain Crunch and Kate had a little crunchberry.
Royal baby was born at 8 pounds. Thats like 12 dollars.
William & Kate, i'm really happy for you and imma let you finish, but Panda Watch was the best baby watch of all time!! #Anchorman , #imronburgundy?
This is a historic day today - one we will all remember. A woman on a bed with the whole of Britain watching and waiting. RIP internet porn....
I'm surprised people don't use photoshop to also clean the house in the background of all these fake photos they upload
This just in...Goerge Zimmerman resues cat from tree!! 