Funny Status Messages

   Some females have more drama than a van full of drag queens on their way to a wig sale.

   Yep, you would worship anything because you are dumb.

   I wonder if clouds look down on us and say "Hey look! That one looks like an idiot."

   I would worship God, even if there's no Heaven.

   When you live in Syria and the only way out is going to Iraq...you are in great sh**

   You show me Karl Marx's grave and I'll show you a Communist plot that worked.

   no wonder it took Wentworth Miller 5 yeats to perfect a perfect Prison Break...

   Porter Ridge. For those times when Turtle Man just isn't back-woods enough...

   I think I will stick to my old fashioned pepper shaker... This new pepper spray tastes terrible on my potatoes...

   My dad used to beat me with a camera. I still get flash backs

   Glow in the dark condoms.. Now you see it, now you don't! Now you see it, now you don't! Now you see it, now you don't! ...

   Are we sure that Wentworth Miller really wanted to do a "Prison Break"?

   if the answer was "windows 95", how stupid was the question?

   I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon. I think I'm going to be pretty good at it!

   I learned in Science class that Protons have mass. Wow. I didn't even know they were Catholic.

   The problem with friends with benefits is that the out-of-pocket costs are too high.

   You show me Karl Mark's grave and I'll show you a Communist plot.

   heres an idea...Duck Dynasty Chia Pets

   "I have your test results," said the doctor. "There's no easy way to tell you this; you are cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs."

   I got all dressed for work and then remembered it's Wednesday and I don't have a job.