Funny Status Messages

   People who squirt Ketchup all over their fries instead of dipping them are not people you want in your life.

   Hillybilly Word Of The Day.."Twerk"..."Welp, I'm done with lunch so I'd better get back twerk!"

   1999, people said "Britney Spears is a bad role model for young girls." 2013 the young girls are grown up. Their name is Miley Cyrus.

   It really isn't a good idea to be left with your own thoughts. I just had a long discussion with myself. We both agreed

   Miley was front page news longer than the last school shooting...

   I don't see what the big deal is, I had to twerk at 8am.

   My dentist said I can't play Candy crush cause I have cavities.

   Breaking: Miley Cyrus to appear on Lap Dancing with the Stars.

   Dr King had a dream and Obama turned it into a nightmare

   I had a dream too. It was to watch the last 5 minutes of General Hospital. Dammit.

   Smoke your dirty weed nobody cares just stop trying to justify it to people who don't smoke

   Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve..

   I believe I can find my soul mate in #TomorrowLand

   I go tweetless when I see you.

   No one is ever bored enough to start studying.

   Life is a Kaleidoscope after few beers! *Sunday Closed*

   Best part bout your girlfriend also being your best friend is that she won't dump you when she walks in on you sleeping with her best friend.

   “Go out there and get your ass kicked by Steven Seagul” - Script for everyone else in a Steven Seagal movie.

   My girlfrand said she bought the lingerie for me, but then got upset when I put it on. I don't get women.

   If you ever want to know what it sounds like three feet up a cow's azz just listen to lovers talk.