Funny Status Messages
Search Messages:
Rams Call List: 1. B̶r̶e̶t̶t̶ ̶F̶a̶v̶r̶e̶, 2. T̶e̶r̶r̶y̶ ̶B̶r̶a̶d̶s̶h̶a̶w̶, ..., 77. Jim Everett, 78. Corpse of Johnny Unitas, 79. Tim Tebow 
Doing my part for National Prescription Drug Take-Back Day on Saturday, October 26, 2013, just bring your pain meds, etc. by my house and I will make sure they are returned. Note: currently not accepting laxatives.
For Obama so loved the poor, that he created millions more...
We are trying to prevent bots, so please enter this completely unreadable captcha.
"Oh.... I can't wait tto see all the clever and funny Bitstrip cartoons my Facebook friends posted today!!!!" ~ Said no one, EVER!
when the movie "cloudy with a chance of meatballs"premiered in China did they call it "raining cats and dogs"?
From leading mobile phone company to leading mobile app company.. #BlackBerry
My son's away at college...... So I peeked in his room,. "Oh my God" Now the City Landfill keeps calling they want their reputation back.
Ran out of toilet paper, so I had to use leaves. Just kidding, but my son learned a big lesson about leaving his clothes on the bathroom floor.
AD/HD HGHWAY TO ....hey look , a squirrel
After our breakup, my ex once begged me over and over again to go out, or as my lawyer called it "Violating a Protection Order"
As the proud parents of a high school senior, my wife and I want our son to be successful and have all the things we couldn't ever afford. Then we want to move in with him.
Wait til last minute to buy Christmas presents for the elderly, could save you lots of money..
After much experience paying bank overdraft fees, I have come to believe it can't be mere coincidence that all the letters found in "Debit Card" can be rearranged to spell "baD Credit"...
If he doesn't grab your hips and pretend to bone when you bend over for something, it's not love. Or he's mature and well... boring.
I don't need a president in charge of my gall bladder...
Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating salad.
The most enjoyable form of the "50 Shades of Grey" is the Braille edition.
Are the Red Sox supposed to be Amish metrosexuals for Halloween?
Here's an idea....maybe Obama can grow a beard until the Obamacare website works 