g0re Funny Status Messages

   Girls just want to have funds.

   Moving to Google+ after a facebook change is like moving to Canada after an election. Noone actually goes through with it, and even if you did, you wouldn't have any friends when you get there.

   Checking In' on Facebook Places is really just another way of people showing other people how much better their day is/was than yours.

   Cookie Monster has probably kidnapped a ton of girl scouts.

   Guys: When you're watching your friend play a single player game, you secretly hope they die.

   Bus drivers inwardly laugh at you when they drop you off in the rain.

   ou know you're lazy when you don't have any clean bowls so you eat cereal off a plate.

   It's the little things that make life so beautiful, like when a baby steps on a cat and they both go apesh!t

   Haters gon' hate, potatoes gon' potate.

   In elementary, there always seemed to be that one kid who had to deepthroat the water fountain when getting a drink.

   It seems like medicine manufacturers have never tasted freaking fruit before. Funny, I don't remember cherries tasting like an a$$.

   It's time for Dora to discover Google Maps.

   Anything that comes in a spray can doubles as a bug killer.

   The brain is the most important organ you have...According to the brain.

   When someone can't pick you up, it's easier to call them weak than to admit that you're fat.

   We all have that one class where when you're absent, you feel like you've missed a year when you come back.

   They call them "pizza rolls" because"pizza love handles" was too wordy.

   Telling a child to sit in the corner and think about what they've done is not a punishment: all it does is give the child time to come up with a better plan for next time.

   If you suspect someone has the power to read minds, then just play Never Gonna Give You Up in your head so they will get Rick-Rolled trying to read your thoughts.

   There's always that one annoying kid that says "Present!" instead of"Here!"