g0re Funny Status Messages

   It's nice when someone can reply to your sarcasm with sarcasm instead of just getting offended.

   Women are like condoms; if they're not on your d!ck, they're in your wallet.

   Realizing that you aren't that smart after all is a sign of maturity.

   You can never think of any changes or improvements to your essay until AFTER you print it out.

   easy but criticizing gently on it shows the mark of a sensible personality.

   Hallmark movies give un-attractive, single girls false hope.

   I'd like to live forever, if only cuz I am curious as to how the course of human history will play out: the probably drastically new technology in the far future, the rise and fall of new countries development of government, humans rights, literature, etc

   You know you need sleep when you feel drunk without having actually had any alcohol.

   Ugly People: There's only so much that photoshop can do.

   Female gamers need to get off their high horse. There are a million girls who like gaming, and it doesn't make them "special" or "cool". It just makes them a girl who happens to like video games.

   Guys: boobs are like Wendy's; "You know when it's real,"

   I'm pretty sure Dora the Explorer is teaching kids the wrong idea, because I tried rapist no raping the other day…. It didn't go well.

   There's that moment of awesome when you get an A on the test... and then you realize you were given someone elses' test...

   It sucks when you make a really awesome post but then someone steals your glory with an even better comment.

   You know when you have to wash the dishes when you are eating salad out of a coffee cup.

   Dreams: are always getting to the best part, and then you wake up.

   Sometimes you just need someone to tell you you're not a loser and are worth a little more than crap.

   Because of the constant rubbing of tectonic plates, the earth has volcanic ejaculations.

   When someone posts pictures of a dance or something, you always look through them to see if you are in the background.

   When you're driving illegally, suddenly every car is an undercover cop.