Darkharbinger Funny Status Messages

   President Thomas Jefferson once said, never believe anything you read on the internet.

   never forget, you are a part of the universe that became sentient for a while and decided to post pictures of cats on the internet

   No New Year, No Groundhog, No Valintine, and now no New President. Holidays suck anymore.

   Every drop of water on earth has been through multiple kidneys at this point.

   Today is 2/366. This is a leap year, which means the earth gave you an extra day to make things how you want.

   I haven’t been this excited about a new year since last year.

   Them: What kind of person are you? Me: I'm a place or thing, thank you.

   Saving daylight? Who am I, Superman?

   The Wicked Witch of the West said it best: What a world, what a world

   'We've all bet on a fart and lost' is the best example of the Human condition I ever heard

   Knowledge is knowing that hot peppers are a fruit; wisdom is putting them in a fruit salad.

   How come when someone is missing the media makes them out to be a saint? Why not just say 'yeah their a jerk but lets find them anyway?'

   I may not know much, but I know mayo doesn't go on a taco.

   price doesn't always equal quality. A 50 dollar hooker works harder than 250 dollar hooker.

   Life is like a helicopter. I don't know how to fly a helicopter.

   The Log Cabin Syrup logo is offensive to trees