Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   The larger the implants, the more likely she’ll be really confused by a push/pull door.

   I took two Centrum Silver and now I've got the urge to drive 25mph in the left lane with my right turn signal on all day.

   If you think your microwave spying on you is bad… Guess what. Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.

   I would pay good money to see the mayhem guy from Allstate hook up with Flo from Progressive Insurance

   Getting a refund? Log on to IRS.gov to spin the wheel and play “double or nothing

   If you're not M^G^, you're F^G^.

   Hey, 'Crats. Congratulations on losing the election in Florida yesterday to the 'Publicans. We still control the House. Your party is over. Bye bye now.

   Any chance of you having an original thought, rather than standing on the shoulders of previous ones, Canuck loser?

   How to distinguish 'publican women from 'crat. If they're fat and stupid, they're 'publican women. Thank you, and enjoy watching your wife enjoy her third trip to the buffet table.

   Turtleneck shirts were invented by a guy whose girlfriend gave him lots of hickeys.

   How to distinguish 'crat women from 'publican. If they're disgusting, they're 'crat women. Thank you, and enjoy the buffet.

   It must be tough being born on April Fools' Day. You're never quite sure if people really mean it when they wish you 'Happy Birthday'.

   Contemplation is merely the precursor to engaging in the activity.

   Proof that masculinity is becoming a lost attribute: Hooters files bankruptcy.

   DOGE slashes billions more in expenses for programs like Peruvian climate change and gender equity in Me'jico

   Yeah. 5 assholes.

   There's only like, 5 people here. 2 of us, Gary Koenig, and the fat crybaby cuck who take breaks between masturbating in between rounds of COD to count his "Magic" card collection and make boring Canuck posts. At least Gary and us are original, loser lol

   Storage? Really? You really are a 3rd world troon.

   I'm funny! And you better agree with it or I'll hold my breath for a long time!

   The result of having 2 mommies is evident here. Canuck boy proves it.