BEGO Funny Status Messages

   You know why there are no wal-marts in Afghanistan? Cause theres a Target in every corner...

   I can't even imagine what people did at red lights before cellphones.

   Don't waste your time on things that only hurt you, and remember to forget those who forget you.

   Drama = Dumb Retard Asking for More Attention

   Money doesn't bring happiness although… shopping does!

   I think it's okay for dorks to stare at beautiful women. I mean, it's not like they can see us anyway.

   Angry Birds suicide hotline, which level are you stuck on?

   Why yes Officer...I did see the speed limit sign...I just didn't see your car...

   Why is Monday so far away from Friday but Friday is so close to Monday?

   Women have mysterious ability of communication..........They listen half.Understand quarter & can tell DOUBLE.

   I hate when people take my glasses, put them on, and say, "Oh. You really can't see, huh?" NO s**t sherlock. You don't see other people taking other people's wheel chairs saying, "Oh. You really can't walk, huh?"

   The Walk Of Shame: When you toss a paper ball in the trash, miss, then have to go get it.

   Dear women: we don't give a CRAP about eyebrows. Love, men.

   When someone texts you “hahahahaha!!” instead of “haha” or “lol”, you know you've done well.

   s funny how I'm good at giving advice to others, but when it comes to helping myself, I don't know what to do

   My mother taught me about RECEIVING. “You are going to get it when you get home!”

   My mother taught me about JUSTICE. “One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you”.

   If evolution was true, mothers would have more than two hands.

   A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest.

   Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs… since the payment is pure love.