BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Saying, "Hang on, I can't hear you!" while I'm in the bathroom is not my way of telling you, "Please talk louder." Just give me a freaking minute.

   Fool people into thinking you have a social life by going offline from Facebook for a few hours.

   Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night."

   hey Google, why don't you sit next to me during my exam?

   While Facebooking, cars in front of you may be closer than expected.

   Always believe a woman when she says: “You don't want to know!”

   They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage, it is self-defense.

   Men are like mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion.

   WOW!!!! Gas is $3.85 what happened to $3.99? I can finally stop getting money out of my savings just to get gas

   The only reason nice guys finish last is because they're holding the door for everyone else.

   Some people would be in such good shape if they ran as much as their mouth does

   There are only 2 types of honest people in this world, small children & drunk people

   Hey MARIO..!! Remember me??? I wasted my CHILDHOOD saving your girlfriend

   Treat your girl right, or another guy will

   Are you supposed to get an email that says “HAHAHAHAHA” after signing up for Match.com?

   I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

   Insanity is doing the same thing over & over again & expecting different results. In other words, I just logged into Facebook.

   You're the one who posted over a thousand pictures of yourself on-line, why does looking at them make me the weird one?

   If I actually did "live like there's no tomorrow". I'd be in jail.

   I can't hear you, so I'll just laugh and hope it wasn't a question