Sully Funny Status Messages

   I think Biden would be a hell of a Walmart door greeter.

   Jobless claims went down this month only after the Obama administration laid-off California.

   I just went outside and I'm completely swarmed by jobs. All over me. Can't get them off.......Help

   Can someone ask Al Gore how early Biden should show up at the VP debate? The altitude is 984 feet....I'm concerned

   I was feeling a little under the weather. But surprisingly, I got down from my desk chair and I felt better? It must have been the high altitude.....

   Global Bacon shortage better be the first debate question tonight, and I WANT ANSWERS! No lies....

   In Honor Of Tonight's Debate, I Will Be Making "Obama Rolls".... They Consist Of A lot Of Hot Air, And Full Of Sh*t!

   What the hell is a Honey Boo Boo? And can it get me high?

   Apparently the NFL replacement Refs now work as tape-delay guys at Fox News....

   Dear Lord.....Please lead the NFL out of this referee lockout and deliver us scab free officiating. Amen.

   Be nice to your stalker. They just want to be loved...

   Working on my (throwing rocks at) people skills....Just in case

   No special plans tonight, but I'm thinking about throwing rocks at a foreign embassy and then grilling some burgers. Hit me up if you wanna join? My mom is coming too....

   Personally, I think today should be "Cap a Diaperhead" day! Just saying

   "All gave some, and some gave all" Remember 9/11......

   I am better off now than I was 4 beers ago...

   Wife and grandchildren are out of town. I'm eating ice cream for breakfast in my whitie tighties, I'm the man of the house now!!

   Never underestimate a Cat 1 Hurricane: I've never seen a situation involving one cat, water & a blow dryer end well..

   The East Nile virus is apparently not as deadly or notorious?

   Look, if we all work together, we can lift and move New Orleans to a new location...