BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity.

   I hate it when people lie, especially when you know the truth about what they are lying about.

   To hate a person is a waste; half the people you hate don't care, and the other half don't know.

   Just when you think you've finally hit the bottom, someone tosses you a shovel.

   When I say “wow, that's crazy”, 99 percent of the time, it means I haven't been listening to a word of your conversation.

   People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.

   Whenever I have gum, I suddenly get a lot more friends.

   Dear mom, Please stop telling me not to play with my food. You spent the first 2 years of my life pretending it was an airplane.

   Oh wow. you're really gonna fight me over the internet? What's the worst you can do, caps-lock my a@s?

   Have you ever noticed that the only people who wear jogging suits are well over 200 pounds and obviously never jog — unless a buffet is in sight?

   I don't confront people. I was raised right. I talk stuff behind their backs. It's called manners.

   If you are talking behind my back you are in a great position to kiss my a@s

   When girls or any women ask you "What?" In reply, it isnt cause they didnt hear you. Its because they giving you a CHANCE to CHANGE what you just said.

   "God has a sense of humor. Don't believe me?... go to Walmart and just look at people."

   Instructions on how to keep an idiot busy: Read instructions again.

   I'd like Facebook to suggest: Since you've just de-friended that loser, how about you get rid of some more  deadweight, like ……

   Hey single ladies, you want a boyfriend? Easy! Learn to shut up and dramatically lower your standards!

   Leaving Facebook for Twitter is like leaving the bar to go home.

   I love when bicthes make status about how much the hate b**ches

   Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.