BEGO Funny Status Messages

   DEAR HATERS, I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE THAT....'awesome' ends with "me"and 'ugly' starts with "u"

   People like to talk about other people....it diverts the attention away from them.

   I have a theory that the chicken crossed the road simply because it wanted to.

   Someday I hope to solve one of the great mysteries of life, like where do socks go when you put them into the dryer?

   rumors ? oh wellll ; at least you're spreading something else besides your legs.

   People who dream big sleep a lot.

   No one can change a person, but someone can be a person`s reason to change

   Apparently you shouldn't ever answer a girl's text message with “k.” Bad idea.

   Spotted on the back of a T-shirt worn by LAPD Bomb Squad: If you see me running, try to keep up.

   I live the same as I type: Fast and with lots of mistakes.

   Life is like a sports car: It goes too fast, and it costs too much.

   My EX was like "We can still be friends" damn is like saying "Hey, the gold fish died but we can keep it"

   No one ever says, “It's only a game,” when their team is winning.

   it's not that I'm bad at remembering names, I'm just awesome at forgetting some of them.

   Why do they try to make pet food in TV commercials look good to humans?

   Our relationship was like the Fourth of July. It started with fireworks but was over by the end of the night.

   B**ch please. Don't confuse hate with jealousy.

   There are worse things than waking up on the wrong side of the bed. You could wake up on the right side of the bed with the wrong person.

   My next house will have no kitchen—just vending machines and a large trash can.

   When I was little, I used to watch the raindrops roll down the window and see which one "won"