Funny Status Messages
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When the power goes out my family and I play with our phones by candlelight like in the old days. 
Perhaps it's time to cross-breed an octopus and a panda. Let me know if you're interested in a pretty amazing hug.
Donald "No Pants" Duck was a bird truly ahead of his time.
Still not 100% clear on Applebee's BYOB policy.
Look out ladies, Donald Trump might be single soon as Melania isn't happy with her husband.
Anything with Hilary or Trump I just scroll without reading all the crap. From an English man looking for a decent status.
When someone posts a picture of their new car and you want to reply, "Congrats on your $600 a month payment!"
It would be cool if Ariana Grande were really fat.
Well .... That's IT ... It's the LAST STRAW !!! ... I'm now going to vote for the candidate who left people to die, Covered up her husbands Sexual Assaults, And Threatened National Security ..... Because that other candidate said some mean things.
Can we get judge Judy to moderate the next debate?
Can you imagine creepy lips Donald Trump trying to force himself on you? Ugh
If Donald Trump represents Christian values, those values mean nothing.
The right says Hillary Clinton is responsible for her husband. Why isn’t Melania Trump?
Facebook live exposing sh*tty cellphones 2015
What part of "billionaire playboy" don't you understand?
I am still voting for Trump!!!!!
The Orange man sure has a knack for sabotaging himself.
Trump groped a woman 10 years ago and the mainstream media blows a gasket. Hillary had 10 people killed and the mainstream media ignores it.
Russia lodged a formal complaint with the United Nations over a U.N. official's condemnations of Trump. Proof that Trump is Putin's puppet.
Worst. Apology. Ever. 