Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon For Halloween I'm wearing a big mirror on the lower half of my body and going as when you accidentally open your front-facing camera.
←Rate | 10-25-2016 01:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got a notice from the HOA that I didn't post a pic of my kid at a pumpkin patch.
←Rate | 10-25-2016 01:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I assert dominance over millennials by responding to their texts with phone calls.
←Rate | 10-25-2016 01:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should put barf bags in all the voting booths this year.
←Rate | 10-25-2016 01:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anybody out there know the Google Map Satellite image co-ordinates of any Nudist Colonies?
←Rate | 10-24-2016 23:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon HA ... The Government says that 93 Million people are out of work but yet say that Unemployment is only at 5% ..... The total population of the US is 325 Million so I guess they're using Common Core Math to arrive at that result.
←Rate | 10-24-2016 23:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What I learned in high school: If you lose the game, don't dump Gatorade on the coach's head.
←Rate | 10-24-2016 18:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wait, I'm confused. Is Pete Burns Dead or Alive? (Too soon?)
←Rate | 10-24-2016 16:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's that electral dysfunction commercial that says "Call a doctor if you have a painful election lasting more than four hours"?...who do you call if it lasts a whole year? Oh wait it wasn't an election...oops never mind ;)
←Rate | 10-24-2016 14:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So broke this year that i'm having a Thanksgiving Chicken instead...
←Rate | 10-24-2016 14:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This goes out to the person who thought of the idea to put stickers on each and every piece of fruit. "Nobody like's your idea"
←Rate | 10-24-2016 10:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I say let the liberals have all the abortions, free birth control, and gay marriages they want. If they don't repoduce they will soon cease to exist.
←Rate | 10-24-2016 09:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hillary doesn't suck, it's all those people who support her that suck!
←Rate | 10-23-2016 23:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anybody out there know the co-ordinates of all of the Nudist Colonies on earth? Or at least a few?
←Rate | 10-23-2016 20:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have six locks installed on my door all in a row so that when I go out, I lock every other one. That way I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
←Rate | 10-23-2016 20:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently something has seriously gone wrong with my financial goals ... Evidently I am now on some kind of get rich slow scheme.
←Rate | 10-23-2016 20:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
←Rate | 10-23-2016 20:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to roll out of bed asleep a lot until I found Viagra
←Rate | 10-23-2016 18:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Meh,,, I guess I'm not against Hillary Clinton taking a drug test?... I'm MORE concerned about the GOP taking a drug test for allowing Donald Trump to be the nominee.
←Rate | 10-23-2016 13:02 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, If the media doesn't cover Hillary Clinton's emails because they say they are Private Conversations, Do they believe Donald Trump consented to have his conversations recorded and saved for future use by NBC? Just wondering.
←Rate | 10-23-2016 01:32 Comments (2)  




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