Funny Status Messages

   Hundreds of thousands of people will protest tomorrow in 1,100 cities in all 50 states. Can't wait to watch from the comfort and safety of our awesome country 🥳

   The sleepy, old guy saw nine straight quarters of record stock gains and job growth. The smartest businessman in the world fvcked it all up in eight weeks.

   Question - is being a sexual deviant, pervert and a criminal a REQUIREMENT for joining M^GA? Look up Jonathan Braun. Yet another one of DT's buddies whose sentence he commuted, who has been rearrested for numerous assaults and crimes against children.

   That should keep ya'll busy for the weekend.

   SO many M^GA guys have beards. To hide that weak-assed jawless slope of a chin. Must take them 20 minutes to put on a f*cking pillow case 😂

   Many M^GA women are extremley flexible. This is true. They have to be, considering most M^G^ guys have trouble gettting it up. So she needs to do be able to do handstands against the wall so they can at least drop it in.

   Then of course there's the jury of HIS peers, finding him liable for sexually abusing advice columnist E. Jean Carroll in 1996. Can't forget about that one. Then of course, there's him being the worst "president" in the history of the United States....

   Since the 1970s, at least 26 women have publicly accused him of r*pe, kissing, and groping without consent; looking under women's skirts; and walking in on naked teenage pageant contestants. Then of course, there's 13 year old Katie Johnson.....

   We're all gonna need lower mortgages seeing as our 401k's just became a 201k's.

   Mortgage rates are dropping. Thanks, President T.

   You've heard the term 'stolen valor'... GaryKoenig has 'stolen humor.'

   Canucks are creepy weirdos relegated to the USA's attic.

   Canuck corn holed Biden

   Canuck is a blowboy

   Canuck gives skull to GaryKoenig

   Canuck likes fried hockey boogie.

   GaryKoenig and Canuck have the blues. They blue each other.

   he actually golfing with Sauudi royal family instead of attending the transfer of 4 US soldiers who died in Lithuania? As his BS tariffs are sending stocks PLUMMETING for the second day? He literally doesn't give a damn about us. We've been duped.

   F News has removed Stock Market numbers from their ticker. I wonder why?

   Look. Anyone can make a mistake. When President Trump imposed a 10% tariff on penguins, he innocently thought they were retired nuns.